ouch

I didn't get in to those universities that I took a tests to get in.
It's been 3 times I got rejected. I don't know what I did wrong. I don't know what God has in store for me but I do know I just gotta trust Him and I know that but it still friggin' hurts. I feel like I'm a disappointment and I let down all of my family. I know I know I may not be the family kind of girl and I had stated a few times before that I'm not really into them but it's hurt to know that I add up their burden because I'll go to private schools and it'll cost more money.
I feel like I'm not good enough and I'm stupid and useless etc.
I know I'm not supposed to feel that way but I can't help it.
It hurts to see all those people get in that great state universities while I'm here like a sitting duck just watching them be happy.
I'm happy for them but there's a pang of jealousy inside of me like "why I can't be like them" or "I wish I  were that lucky" etc
Anyway there's one more test that I'll take in August for Akademi Pimpinan Perusahaan it's sort of state university-ish so it doesn't really cost a lot of money so hopefully I'll get in to that..