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I miss my dad so much. I miss him because he is the only person who has the same thoughts and I miss how we talked about everything and he actually did answers my arguments with his arguments not like my mom. she never take me seriously and can't understand me. she is brutal and psycho and more unstable than me eventhough I'm the young one but seems she's the teenager and I have to take care of her. I hate when I'm being missunderstood by her and she suddenly attack me brutally physically and emotionally. I hate it when she blames me for everything. I hate when she says that I'm lucky that I was born and how she regrets that she ever gave birth of me. Please, I had never asked you to gave birth of me. I had never asked to be alive in this shitty world. If I could choose, I would've choose to not being life and living my life like now. I should have never exist in this world. because life is getting harder and sometimes I feel like I was born by mistaken. I'm useless as shit in this world. I mean, I have a crappy family that if I didn't exist I think they would have a better life. I'm not anyone's bestfriend so it's okay though for them if I didn't exist. I'm not anyone's inspiration so if I didn't exist it doesn't matter for them. Nobody loves me now so I think that if I didn't exist it's okay for them and didn't affect them at all. I have no talent, I'm ugly as shit, I'm fat, I'm not the nicest person ever. I have no idea what I am going to do with my life. I think God is making a mistake by sent me to this world.