little things-one direction

Your hand fits in mine
Like it's made just for me
But bear this in mind
It was meant to be
And i'm joining up the dots
With the freckles on your cheeks
And it all makes sense to me

I know you've never loved
The crinkles by your eyes
When you smile,
You've never loved
Your stomach or your thighs
The dimples in your back
At the bottom of your spine
But i'll love them endlessly

CHORUS:
I won't let these little things
Slip out of my mouth
But if i do
It's you
Oh it's you
They add up to
I'm in love with you
And all these little things

You cant go to bed
Without a cup of tea
And maybe that's the reason
That you talk in your sleep
And all those conversation
Are the secrets that I keep
Though it makes no sense to me

I know you've never loved the sound of your voice tape
You know want to know how much weigh
You still have to squeeze into your jeans
But you're perfect to me

CHORUS:
I won't let these little things
Slip out of my mouth
but if it's true
It's you
Oh it's you
They add up to
I'm in love with you
And all these little things

You'll never love yourself
Half as much as I love you
You'll never treat yourself right darlin'
But i want you to
If i let you know
I'm here for you
Maybe you'll love yourself like i love you
Oh..

I've just let these little things
Slip out of my mouth
Because it's you
Oh it's you
It's you
They add up to
And i'm in love you
And all these little things

I won't let these little things
Slip out of my mouth
But if it's true
It's you
It's you
They add up to
I'm in love with you
And all your little things

world of pain

akhir-akhir ini gue nemu benjolan di leher belakang gue dan itu bikin leher gue pegeeeeeeeel bgt rasanya pgn dicekrekin gt biar gak pegel tp gabisa. dan gue takut bgt ini kanker atau tumor atau penyakit berbahaya lainnya. gue cuma gak mau jadi beban buat keluarga gue kalo gue penyakitan. dan gue gamau meninggal, gue gak mau dan gue gak siap untuk ninggalin orang-orang yg ada di sekitar gue yang sayang bgt sm gue. gue pengen bikin mereka bahagia dulu dan bangga akan gue.
kemaren gue takut nyokap gue kena kanker dan sekarang gue takut gue sendiri yg kena. gue cuma pengin kembali ke masa kecil gue. dimana gue gak perlu khawatir ttg sakit penyakit atau yg lain. dimana gue bahagia bgt sm bokap nyokap dimana cuma ada kita bertiga yg selalu ada satu sama lain. gue sayang bgt sm mereka walaupun gue gak nunjukin.
gue gak mau bikin mereka sedih dan gue pingin mereka bangga dan bahagia.
senin besok gue bakal diopname buat diperiksa ttg benjolan ini. gue ngerasa takut dan gaberani bgt untuk tau hasilnya. gue takut hasilnya.........parah. gue gamau tau ttg ini sakit apa krn gue takut sm kenyataan buruk yg nanti mungkin gue hadepin. gue takut kalau ternyata hasilnya gue kanker dan udah parah. gue takut bgt. gue saat ini cuma bisa berdoa sm Tuhan Yesus ttg ini. 
God, help me:"(

                                                                                                                    "hoping for the best but expecting the worst"

:"(

somehow, i feel like i grow up too fast. gila ya gue udah umur 16 tahun aja, udah kelas 2 SMA. this are the things that when i was a kid i've imagined, being in highschool. dulu kayanya 16 tahun itu udah tua bangeet trus gue ganyangka aja gue tiba-tiba udah kelas 11 gini. dan jujur  i haven't figuring out what my future like. i mean, let's be honest, gue pengen jadi orang sukses oke semua orang juga pengen masa depannya sukses. but the thing is i think i don't know ho to reach that. gue masih belum tau gue pengen kerja jadi apa, apa yang harus gue lakuin untuk menghasilkan uang, dll. gue ngerasa gue belum siap jika nanti suatu saat gue harus masuk ke dunia nyata, dunia kerja, ngelamar kerja, dll. gue ngerasa gue itu masih butuh nyokap dan bokap untuk selamanya. gue sering bgt mikir, 'ih kayanya gue baru kemaren dianterin tk sama nyokap gue'. jujur, gue pgn bgt ngulang masa kecil gue. gue pgn bgt jd anak yg selalu sm nyokap kaya dulu. gue pgn ngerasain dimanjain kaya dulu, ngerasa keluarga yg bener-bener bahagia kaya dulu. when i was a little kid i didn't have to worry about the chances losing one of your family member. now, i just have to prepare myself for the possibility of losing the one i love. because everybody get old. and i'm not ready for losing them forever. i just wish i could re-live that good old times when everything was okay in my family:(

tumblr-ing!!!! (mostly about one direction:p)