ASGDBAHJDSN

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I DIDN’T GET IN TO THAT UNIVERSITY

Through the snmptn thingy, sbm and um? let’s seeJ

Still, it was a huge slap on my face and it hurts like hell. I was in some event when I opened the result and when I opened it.... I was crying my eyes out for like an hour and honestly it still stings a little bit and I still get that crying feeling. I just wanna wrap myself with a blanket and sleeping and crying for a week and after I’m done, I’ll study for the tests. And this time, I’ll study hard like my life depends on it.

It hurts, you know, to know that you got rejected again and it scar your self esteem again. Man, I was feeling confident about this snmptn thingy and it didn’t work out as I expected and the pain is in there. I felt the pang in my chest and until now, it still hurts to see other successful people that got in.

And now I’m feeling my hope is decreasing little by little to know that the tests will be hard and the student capacity will be more and more decreased and that means my chance in this will be a teeny tiny percent.

I know I know that I should think positive and trust me, i AM TRYING but this bad thoughts and the pessimist side of me begins to show..

And it’s even more sucks because I feel like I dissapoint my family and now my mom will be pushing me harder to get into school that I don’t llke and that’s definetely not my thing, not my passion.

She still doesn’t get it that I AM PASSIONATE ABOUT WRITING, CULTURES, ENGLISH, ETC.

And as a kid it’s sooooooooooooooooo hard to convince my mom that this kind of thing is good and I’ll make it in this.

I know that God has another plans for me. Maybe not through this snmptn thingy  but another way. I may not knowing what is His plan and I may feel like lost but all I gotta do is to trust His heart because He is sooo good and every plan, every future that He has prepared it for me, it must be good and the best for me.

I just wish I could stop having a doubt and not to be anxious and scared and worry all the time.